Don't Fail Yourself

DON’T FAIL YOURSELF

RUDENESS IS FOR LOSERS


“C’mon, this is a reality show, if the judges are rude to a female contestant who isn’t up to the mark, so what? The judges should be sarcastic and blow her up for a bad performance, that’s what she deserves.”

“It was only a slap that the captain gave him, after all! That is no reason to suspend an excellent cricketer!
All’s fair in the name of having a great time, these incidents spice up a dull match and get more eyeballs for the television channel!”

Such responses come from those who believe that anything goes in the name of entertainment. These people who are abusive and hurtful are seen as successful human beings who have arrived.

But Is this real, authentic success? My idea of a successful woman is not one who has stepped on all kinds of toes to arrive, but one who can persuade others to accept her view without stepping on their feelings. She won’t be the woman who screams, “Shut up!” to her parents or in-laws. It’s the other woman who know how to stand up for herself without breaking anybody’s spirit or sense of dignity, who is truly a winner. She’s the one who knows that it is honey and not vinegar that attracts flies.

Will others cooperate more with me if I am rude to them at the bank, at the office or at home? We ourselves avoid uncouth persons because they are not fun to have around. In our free time when we want to chill, we seek out people without temper tantrums. Rudeness causes bad vibes, and bad karma. Avoided by others, a rude person isolates herself because of her poor attitude. Opportunities dry up on her and she soon finds herself a failure.

For those of us who enjoy watching others being humiliated, its time for us to ask ourselves why we do so. If we really believe this is “cool”, why do we look for polite and well mannered people when we hire anybody?

At any gathering observe how the loud and rude person holds everybody’s attention. He is desperate for attention at any cost. More often than not, the loudest person in the room is the weakest.

ADVICE FROM WRONG PEOPLE

Can one take advice on a certain subject from somebody who has no personal experience of that subject?
How good will my life be, if I ask Bill Gates about my stomach ache?
What if parents asked advice about rearing their children of somebody who is childless?
Or asking Miss Unmarried Careerwoman about marriage and domestic bliss?

And yet one sees this happening so often, we have even forgotten to question ourselves on this.

Leo Buscaglia the prophet of love, preaches love unlimited, tolerance, living together in large families etc when he is unmarried!
What happened to love in his case? Was it for the birds?

I find it strange that we take such people seriously merely because they are great wordsmiths and entertaining speakers and they know how to project a certain philosophy with the right packaging.
This is an important question. We have people who are reported to have never fallen in love speaking volumes about it, we have sages writing tomes on marital bliss who dare not get married for fear of getting attached. How in God's name do we accept the words of a person such as this? he has only observed, he has not experienced. In matters such as this, observation is not enough, its the day-to-day trial by fire that a person is put to.
I personally don't ask advice of people who have sworn never to be in my position. So what is that but a form of escapism?
Which is not to under-rate the sages on other subjects for which they are eminently qualified to speak. It's like asking a poor man for advice on how to make money, would you do it?His observation isn't enough.

Our views need to be translated into our lives. Talking about large, boisterous happy families and then living in a home occupied by one, never getting married, never having children, what gives him the power to shape our destinies and leave his own untouched?

Who did you turn to for advice recently? Check if you asked the plumber for an electrical fault.
While you are at it, take a minute to check if you asked a sanyaasi guru for tips on marital bliss. Come on, if he knew the way to marital bliss, why would he take sanyaas? Does anyone turn away from bliss?
He hasn't found the way, and we'd rather be otriches.

BHAGAVAD GITA AND DUTY

"Better one's own duty, though devoid of merit, than the duty of another well discharged. Better is death in one's own duty; the duty of another is productive of danger."- Sri Sankaracharya's interpretation.
"There is more happiness in doing one's own work even without excellence than in doing another's duty well.Each one must try to understand his psychophysical make-up and fuction in accordance with it."- Dr S. Radhakrishnan's explanation.
After reading these lines I am quite clear that they meant a man must do what is in accordance with his specific temperament and morality.

TWO GOOD AUNTS

We meet so many people in our lives, but when you sit with some people they make you feel so enriched because of their goodness.

So besides being "good" what is it specifically that a "good" person must have to be called good? A small story to illustrate it would make it easier to udnerstand. Not religious people, but just ordinary people.

My aunt-in-law (my husband's maasi) who died a few years ago and my aunt were "good" people according to me. My aunt-in-law was a picture of goodness. Although quite poor, she always welcomed anybody to her house with a hug and something or the other to eat. She also never spoke ill of anybody and always ended every meeting with, "Bhagawan will do good by you." She made you weep just being with her, and she had no idea of her depth, she was a simple soul. God bless her.

My own aunt, my maasi, on the other hand, was bright, tempestuous, great fun, always full of mirth or anger but was so extremely large-hearted that anything she said was accepted. She held no grudges, was always game for a new movie, a new song and a new prank to be played.
She could break into a grin easily and her spirit of abundance was bottomless. When she drove her car, she was a dare-devil and yet, she was the one easily suckered into charity.

I guess they were both generous in their spirit. Two ways of living and yet, at the bottom, really quite similar despite their differences. A karmayogi and a jnani, one on either side of me, did I have any choice?